83. TRUE LOVE LIVES AND TRIUMPHS IN TEENS

When I was your son’s age, I too demonstrated my “go get ups” to Mehar or Qamar living our next doors. I cherished playing Romeo in shorts and torn and sloppy shirts, to a couple of Juliette’s in ghararas in our street. Why? I even fooled around as Othello,   with blazing envy and avenging fervor for my “angel” Desdemona and ended up broken hearted.

Majnoon was my much-loved passionate hero.

I was infatuated with his seductive charisma and was very much resentful about his glamorous love for Layla. I played his role in my real life when I was hardly nine. My Layla was narrowly six and was in second standard, and we never knew what love was like and what was sex made of and where it would be accessible.

Those were the days when you had not heard a transistor singing Bade Ghulam Ali Khan “ka karoon sajani aye na balamu,” or Ghulam Ali Khan singing “chpke chuke rath din aansoon bahana yad hai.” Radios used to broadcasting blah-blahs to the privileged few homes of rich families only in far away settlements. You did not yet know anything about channels and the televisions.

Like the youngsters of today, you never sent msgs or sexted “you’re mine today, tomorrow and forever.” seductively to your fiancé away in Chicago Tokyo or Damam.

Hardly did you know anything about selfies, morphing or cyber crimes. Had you ever heard about what hacking was all about? I am sure, no! Portals, online, and offline; sign on and sign off and log in were mysterious to you and to your dad.

Abbreviations like, "lol,” “ily”, "omg" “idk" and "mfb" were unknown, to you of course. Wordsworth, john Keats and Shelley or Charles Dickens and Bernard Shaw did not sweat writing “I was fu*** up." Much less the

 "s** o* bi**" or at the least the "mo**** fu***** ba******."

We would go to Rainbow Theater on weekends putting on the best clothes. We used to lug a small box full of snacks to munch seeing the poignant climaxes or tragic flaw of the main role. During the intervals, you would have a strong tea or coffee.

In this backdrop of social milieu, I was stuck fast at some stage in my early teens. Romance and the accompanying chivalry were what ensnared me vastly more than everything did. My eighth class and ninth were absolutely ruined owing to this fascination.

 There lived an extremely charismatic angel in our street. Fatima!

“Ilahi kaisee kaisee sooraten tu ne banai hain;

ki har soorath kaleeje se laga lene ke qabil hai.”

This charming cherub, Fatima, my very heartbeat, and soul, she was mine now and forever. Her breathtaking figure was always stuck to my mind, her placid sentences ever ringing in my ears, I used to be totally devoid of where and what I had been up to. I just lived in a sweet dream and the dream was all my reality.

Fatima was the eldest daughter of a footwear superstore owner in big bazaar street. She had two younger sisters, Aneesa and Aishah; no brothers. These girls along with some more used to gather in our house paddock ground for some sort of games of their choice.

Only after seeing this “gorgeousness” Fatima, I grew all aware and conscious about the spanking opposite sex and its sweet bang on my love life.

I started having an intense penchant for Fatima as she stood pretty poles apart from other common type.

 She had been endowed with a couple of penetrating dreamy and searching eyes with which somehow or other Fatima fished out me wherever and whatever I would have been engaged in. “Inhi aankhon ke siva duniya me rakkha kya hai?” I had often soliloquized Very often; I would cheerfully make myself available for her sweet loving gaze. Most of the time.

Every morning Fatima would come home, (“lo! tum agaye ho, noor agaya hai,”) some books in hand, with the pretext of studying. Having come home, she would secretly make her way to where I would be, to take my love tokens. She would, in return, offer some sweats, snacks or some kind of things I loved. If she had not come one morning, I would be madly disenchanted and feel highly disappointed. Crazily upset, I would unfairly pick quarrels up with my sisters and brother.

Fatima would come home before her afternoon session, finishing her lunch. She would sneak in where I was accessible and would present me a memento, a keepsake, a love storybook, seductively pressing her silk soft bosom to my hungry face.

 To make myself available to her loving sweet gazes eternally and to make those romantic moments alive forever, I sacrificed most of my school classes and that gave me immense joy of accomplishment. I never once felt for the loss of studies.

Word came around that Fatima would be given in nuptials to a boy much older than me who owned a similar leather shop in north Coimbatore. I grew profoundly spiteful about him, and heavily envious.

  I started cutting my morning sessions of school and would go all the way by walk and run to north Coimbatore to see how his shop would look like and how much he was better than me in "personality" and social status.

 Just for having a glimpse of my sweetie, I had several times left home, leaving important school homework or household work in lurch, with the only pretext that I had forgot to buy something in the shop near her house. To all my sly attempts to glimpse her, she also had not once disappointed or let me down.

We had never once met outside, much less having any physical contact.

When Majnoon was denied access to Layla a high-class girl of a clan's family, he became somewhat insane and his actions were very much unhinged

A story goes that a dirty dog used to pass through the streets of Layla’ palace. Seeing the dog passing through Layla’s s abode Majnoon became so much excited, as the dog, he thought, was a part of his lover, as it daily passed through her palace. He turned emotional and ran after dog and catching hold of it, he started hugging it and kissing enormously.

If that was, how Majnoon showed his love to

Layla, I deliberately sacrificed my studies in my blind insanity just in exchange for her lustful dreamy and penetrating eyes.

A hard luck, her mother died of consumption and then a series baddies started hounding our innocent love. Fatimas shifted to their own house away to a distant location. It turned out to be my routine to glimpse her at her school. She would look love-lost and desperate in tears. ‘A dil tum bin kahin lagta naheen ham kya Karen”. However, that was not all. She did not come to school thereafter. Her father stopped her schools to groom her for her nuptials.

She then struggled stealthily to get in touch with me, I was told, many a times, but all in vain. She attempted to send word through Aneesa for elopement. It also did not work out. Then I did not hear anything about Fatima for a long time. “Oh jab yad aye bahuth yad aye!” my heart cried.

My friend Ahmadani told me that he saw Fatima, a couple of days back, in a very poor situation in a private hospital. By the time I reached to see her in hospital, she was already discharged dead. Too late, I could not attend her funerals too.

Fatima! Fatima!! And Fatima!!! I could see nothing but her in everyone and everywhere. Her sweetness filled me and her image enveloped me. I hated everything on earth. Slowly I could hear Fatima say, “Dea! When will you come to see me?” both visual and auditory hallucinations possessed me gradually .I seldom went out, and loved isolated solitude. I had withdrawn from my friends and family members. Hardly ever did I take food. I was in trance and on bed. My family struggled to admit me in a hospital. I was diagnosed of typhoid then pneumonia at last depression.

When I was discharged after two months, I was a completely a new person totally emaciated and having lost 16 kgs. Much run down and fatigued. Fatima’s “Dea” was a limping, half-blind and deaf now. “Kabhi qud pe kabhi halath pe rona aya”

We were so much in love, kinda platonic love, sans physical links.

“Chupke chupke rath din aansoon bahana yad hai;

 Hamko apni ashiqui ka who zamana yad hai.”

Love also triumphs in the teens. Certainly

  

82. THIS MY BODY IS A GUEST HOUSE.

This being human is a guest house.Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they're a crowd of sorrows, enveloping you and who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,still treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out 

for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing,  

and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.

81....LET US HYBERNATE IN THE REALM OFFORMLESSNESS

FOR A WHILE WE LIVED WITH PEOPLE,BUT WE SAW NO SIGN IN THEM

OF THE FAITHFULNESS WE HAD WANTED.

IT IS BETTER 

TO HIDE COMPLETE

WITHIN AS WATER HIDES IN METAL

OR AS 

FIRE HIDES IN ROCKS.

'MASNAVI'

MOULANA RUMI.

80 THE JIHAD IN ISLAM AS I SEE IT

And those who perform jihad for Us, We shall certainly guide them in Our ways,
and God is surely with the doers of good. (Al Qur'an)

You have returned from the lesser jihad to the greater jihad. (Hadith) 

The Arabic term jihad, usually translated into European languages as holy war, more on the basis of its juridical usage in Islam rather than on its much more universal meaning in the Quran and Hadith, is derived from the root jhd whose primary meaning is to strive or to exert oneself. Its translation into holy war combined with the erroneous notion of Islam prevalent in the West as the 'religion of the sword' has helped to eclipse its inner and spiritual significance and to distort its connotation. Nor has the appearance upon the stage of history during the past century and especially during the past few years of an array of movements within the Islamic world often contending or even imposing each other and using the word jihad or one of its derivative forms helped to make known the full import of its traditional meaning which alone is of concern to us here. Instead recent distortions and even total reversal of the meaning of jihadas understood over the ages by Muslims have made it more difficult than ever before to gain insight into this key religious and spiritual concept. 

To understand the spiritual significance of jihad and its wide application to nearly every aspect of human life as understood by Islam, it is necessary to remember that Islam bases itself upon the idea of establishing equilibrium within the being of man as well as in the human society where he functions and fulfills the goals of his earthly life. This equilibrium, which is the terrestrial reflection of Divine Justice and the necessary condition for peace in the human domain, is the basis upon which the soul takes its flight towards that peace which, to use Christian terms, 'passeth understanding'. If Christian morality sees the aim of the spiritual life and its own morality as based on the vertical flight towards that perfection and ideal which is embodied in Christ, Islam sees it in the establishment of an equilibrium both outward and inward as the necessary basis for the vertical ascent. The very stability of Islamic society over the centuries, the immutability of Islamic norms embodied in the Shari'ah, and the timeless character of traditional Islamic civilization which is the consequence of its permanent and immutable prototype are all reflections of both the ideal of equilibrium and its realization as is so evident in the teachings of the Shari'ah (or Divine Law) as well as works of Islamic art, that equilibrium which is inseparable from the very name of islam as being related to salam or peace. 

The preservation of equilibrium in this world, however, does not mean simply a static or inactive passivity since life by nature implies movement. In the face of the contingencies of the world of change, of the withering effects of time, of the vicissitudes of terrestrial existence, to remain in equilibrium requires continuous exertion. It means carrying out jihad at every stage of life. Human nature being what it is, given to forgetfulness and the conquest of our immortal soul by the carnal soul or passions, the very process of life of both the individual and the human collectivity implies the ever-present danger of the loss of equilibrium and the fact of falling into the state of disequilibrium which if allowed to continue cannot but lead to disintegration on the individual level and chaos on the scale of community life. To avoid this tragic end and to fulfill the entelechy of the human state which is the realization of unity (al-tawhid) or total integration, Muslims as both individuals and members of Islamic society must carry out jihad, that is they must exert themselves at all moments of life to fight a battle both inward and outward against those forces that if not combatted will destroy that equilibrium which is the necessary condition for the spiritual life of the person and the functioning of human society. This fact is especially true if society is seen as a collectivity which bears the imprint of the Divine Norm rather than an antheap of contending and opposing units and forces. 

Man is at once a spiritual and corporeal being, a micro-cosm complete unto himself; yet he is the member of a society within which alone are certain aspects of his being developed and certain of his needs fulfilled. He possesses at once an intelligence whose substance is ultimately of a divine character and sentiments which can either veil his intelligence or abett his quest for his own Origin. In him are found both love and hatred, generosity and coveteousness, compassion and aggression. Moreover, there have existed until now not just one but several 'humanities' with their own religious and moral norms and national, ethnic and racial groups with their own bonds of affiliation. As a result the practice of jihadas applied to the world of multiplicity and the vicissitudes of human existence in the external world has come to develop numerous ramifications in the fields of political and economic activity and in social life and come to partake on the external level of the complexity which characterizes the human world. 

In its most outward sense jihad came to mean the defence of dar al-islam, that is, the Islamic world, from invasion and intrusion by non-Islamic forces. The earliest wars of Islamic history which threatened the very existence of the young community came to be known as jihad par excellence in this outward sense of 'holy war'. But it was upon returning from one of these early wars, which was of paramount importance in the survival of the newly established religious community and therefore of cosmic significance, that the Prophet nevertheless said to his companions that they had returned from the lesser holy war to the greater holy war, the greater jihad being the inner battle against all the forces which would prevent man from living according to the theomorphic norm which is his primordial and God given nature. Throughout Islamic history, the lesser holy war has echoed in the Islamic world when parts or the whole of that world have been threatened by forces from without or within. This call has been especially persistent since the nineteenth century with the advent of colonialism and the threat to the very existence of the Islamic world. It must be remembered, however, that even in such cases when the idea of jihad has been evoked in certain parts of the Islamic world, it has not usually been a question of religion simply sanctioning war but of the attempt of a society in which religion remains of central concern to protect itself from being conquered either by military and economic forces or by ideas of an alien nature. This does not mean, however, that in some cases especially in recent times, religious sentiments have not been used or misused to intensify or legitimize a conflict. But to say the least, the Islamic world does not have a monopoly on this abuse as the history of other civilizations including even the secularized West demonstrates so amply. Moreover, human nature being what it is, once religion ceases to be of central significance to a particular human collectivity, then men fight and kill each other for much less exalted issues than their heavenly faith. By including the question of war in its sacred legislation, Islam did not condone but limited war and its consequences as the history of the traditional Islamic world bears out. In any case the idea of total war and the actual practice of the extermination of whole civilian populations did not grow out of a civilization whose dominant religion sawjihad in a positive light. On the more external level, the lesser jihad also includes the socio-economic domain. It means the reassertion of justice in the external environment of human existence starting with man himself. To defend one's rights and reputation, to defend the honour of oneself and one's family is itself ajihad and a religious duty. So is the strengthening of all those social bonds from the family to the whole of the Muslim people (al-ummah) which the Shari'ahemphasizes. To seek social justice in accordance with the tenets of the Quran and of course not in the modern secularist sense is a way of re-establishing equilibrium in human society, that is, of performing jihad, as are constructive economic enterprises provided the well-being of the whole person is kept in mind and material welfare does not become an end in itself; provided one does not lose sight of the Quranic verse, 'The other world is better for you than this one'. To forget the proper relation between the two worlds would itself be instrumental in bringing about disequilibrium and would be a kind of jihad in reverse. 

All of those external forms of jihad would remain incomplete and in fact contribute to an excessive externalization of human being, if they were not complemented by the greater or inner jihad which man must carry out continuously within himself for the nobility of the human state resides in the constant tension between what we appear to be and what we really are and the need to transcend ourselves throughout this journey of earthly life in order to become what we 'are'. 

From the spiritual point of view all the 'pillars' of Islam can be seen as being related to jihad. The fundamental witnesses, 'There is no divinity but Allah' and 'Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah', through the utterance of which a person becomes a Muslim are not only statements about the Truth as seen in the Islamic perspective but also weapons for the practice of inner jihad. The very form of the first witness (La ilaha illa' Lla-h in Arabic) when written in Arabic calligraphy is like a bent sword with which all otherness is removed from the Supreme Reality while all that is positive in manifestation is returned to that Reality. The second witness is the blinding assertion of the powerful and majestic descent of all that constitutes in a positive manner the cosmos, man and revelation from that Supreme Reality. To invoke the two witnesses in the form of the sacred language in which they were revealed is to practice the inner jihad and to bring about awareness of who we are, from whence we come and where is our ultimate abode. 

The daily prayers (salat or namaz) which constitute the heart of the Islamic rites are again a never ending jihad which punctuate human existence in a continuous rhythm in conformity with the rhythm of the cosmos. To perform the prayers with regularity and concentration requires the constant exertion of our will and an unending battle and striving against forgetfulness, dissipation and laziness. It is itself a form of spiritual warfare. 

Likewise, the fast of Ramadan in which one wears the armour of inner purity and detachment against the passions and temptations of the outside world requires an asceticism and inner discipline which cannot come about except through an inner holy war. Nor is the hajj to the centre of the Islamic world in Mecca possible without long preparation, effort, often suffering and endurance of hardship. It requires great effort and exertion so that the Beloved Prophet (May Allah bless him and give him peace) could say, 'The hajj is the most excellent of all jihads". Like the knight in quest of the Holy Grail, the pilgrim to the house of the Beloved must engage in a spiritual warfare whose end makes all sacrifice and all hardship pale into significance, for the hajj to the House of God implies for the person who practices the inner jihad encounter with the Master of the House who also resides at the centre of that other Ka'bah which is the heart. 

Finally the giving of zakat or religious tax and khums is again a form of jihad not only in that in departing from one's wealth man must fight against the coveteousness and greed of his carnal soul, but also in that through the payment of zakat and khums in its many forms man contributes to the establishment of economic justice in human society. Although jihad is not one of the 'pillars of Islam', it in a sense resides within all the other 'pillars'. From the spiritual point of view in fact all of the 'pillars' can be seen in the light of an inner jihad which is essential to the life of man from the Islamic point of view and which does not oppose but complements contemplativity and the peace which result from the contemplation of the One. 

The great stations of perfection in the spiritual life can also be seen in the light of the inner jihad. To become detached from the impurities of the world in order to repose in the purity of the Divine Presence requires an intense jihad for our soul has its roots sunk deeply into the transient world which the soul of fallen man mistakes for reality. To overcome the lethargy, passivity and indifference of the soul, qualities which have become second nature to man as a result of his forgetting who he is constitutes likewise a constant jihad. To pull the reigns of the soul from dissipating itself outwardly as a result of its centrifugal tendencies and to bring it back to the centre wherein resides Divine Peace and all the beauty which the soul seeks in vain in the domain of multiplicity is again an inner jihad. To melt the hardened heart into a flowing stream of love which would embrace the whole of creation in virtue of the love for God is to perform the alchemical process of solve et coagula inwardly through a 'work' which is none other than an inner struggle and battle against what the soul has become in order to transform it into that which it 'is' and has never ceased to be if only it were to become aware of its own nature. Finally, to realize that only the Absolute is absolute and that only the Self can ultimately utter 'I' is to perform the supreme jihad of awakening the soul from the dream of forgetfulness and enabling it to gain the supreme principal knowledge for the sake of which it was created. The inner jihador warfare seen spiritually and esoterically can be considered therefore as the key for the understanding of the whole spiritual process, and the path for the realization of the One which lies at the heart of the Islamic message seen in its totality. The Islamic path towards perfection can be conceived in the light of the symbolism of the greater jihad to which the Prophet of Islam, who founded this path on earth, himself referred. 

In the same way that with every breath the principle of life which functions in us irrespective of our will and as long as it is willed by Him who created us, exerts itself through jihad to instill life within our whole body, at every moment in our conscious life we should seek to perform jihad in not only establishing equilibrium in the world about us but also in awakening to that Divine Reality which is the very source of our consciousness. For the spiritual man, every breath is a reminder that he should continue the inner jihad until he awakens from all dreaming and until the very rhythm of his heart echoes that primordial sacred Name by which all things were made and through which all things return to their Origin. The Beloved Prophet (May Allah bless him and give him peace) said, 'Man is asleep and when he dies he awakens'. Through inner jihad the spiritual man dies in this life in order to cease all dreaming, in order to awaken to that Reality which is the origin of all realities, in order to behold that Beauty of which all earthly beauty is but a pale reflection, in order to attain that Peace which all men seek but which can in fact be found only through the inner jihad.

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79 .THE ISLAM AS I SEE IT.

The word "Islam" is derived from the root "salama"; it means to be at peace or to have security. Therefore, a Muslim is a person who surrenders, submits himself/herself to and obeys the laws of Almighty God. Through this submission; s/he attains peace and security for himself/herself.

We can immediately see that by such a definition, the Arabic word "Islam" describes the manners and the behaviors of all the well known and respected Prophets and Messengers of Almighty God: Adam, Noah, Abraham, Moses, David, Solomon, Isaac, Ishmael, Jacob, John the Baptist, Jesus the son of Mary and Muhammad (Peace and blessings be on them all). All of these Prophets and Messengers were sent to people by the same Almighty God with the same Message, with the same chain of transmission. They preached ONE thing: "obey God", worship the Almighty God, fulfill the purpose of your life, do good actions so that you will be rewarded with perfect life (in paradise). That's all that they taught people.

 That's all they conveyed to people, regardless of what language and what time and whom they came to. If you read the scriptures carefully, without your own interpretations or somebody else's additions or fabrications, you will find that this was the simple message of all those Prophets, who confirmed the Message of each other None of those honorable Prophets ever said "I am God; worship me". You don't have to think about that because you will not find it in any of the books that you have, not in the Bible, in the Torah, in the Old and the New Testaments or in the Psalms of David. You will not find it in any book or in any speech of any Prophet. Hence, where did it come from? This is another thing that you have to investigate for yourself.

We can immediately see that by such a definition, the Arabic word "Islam" describes what all the Prophets did. The call came and they submitted themselves to God, surrendered themselves to God, called the people to God, and asked people and insisted upon them to do deeds of righteousness. The Ten Commandments of Moses, what was about? The scrolls of Abraham, what was about? The Psalms of David, what was about? The proverbs of Solomon, what did he say? The Gospel of Jesus Christ, what did he say? What did John the Baptist say? What did Isaac and Ishmael say? What did Muhammad say? They said: "Worship one God"; nothing more than that.

Allah says in the Qur'an {And they were not commanded except to worship Allah [being] sincere to Him in religion, inclining to truth, and to establish prayer and to give zakkah. And that is the correct religion} [98-5]. This was the original message. Naturally, it will also be appropriate here to consider these Prophets and Messengers as Muslims.

Do not think about the Arabic terminology, do not think about how we are dressed, do not think about Mecca or Saudi Arabia or Egypt etc…, or about the misconceptions that you have about Muslims.

Think about the word "Muslim". It denotes to the one who surrenders oneself to the Almighty God and obeys the laws of the Almighty God. Everything that surrenders to the laws of Almighty God is a Muslim. Hence, when a child comes out of the womb of its mother at the time God has ordered, what is it? It is a Muslim. When the sun goes around in its orbit, what is it? It is a Muslim. When a moon goes around the sun, what is it? It is a Muslim. The law of gravity, what is it? It is a Muslim law. Everything that submits to the Almighty God's law is a Muslim. Therefore, when we obey Almighty God, we are Muslims.

COURTESY: CIMS