98. WITH ALL YOUR FONDNESS. PART THREE

WE STAYED IN CHENNAI STEADILY RUNNING CRAZILY FROM THRESHOLD TO THRESHOLD OF HELL A LOT OF OFFICES FOR THE KIDS PASSPORT. NOW IN AUTO, NOW SPRAWLED IN CALL TAXI AND STUFFED IN TOWN BUS. ONE HOT NOON I FELT COLLAPSING IN AN OFFICE LIFT, HEAD SPINNING AND SUDDENLY EVERYTHING BECOMING DARK.

FINALLY OUR GOOD GOD SMILED ON US AND WE HAD THE TATKAL PASSPORT FOR THE KID READY IN A WEEK. IT WAS A HECK A LOT OF GREAT NIGHTMARE, THOUGH.

BACK HOME WE HAD TO DO PACKAGING AND OTHER INDISPENSABLE SHOPPING WITHIN A COUPLE OF DAYS TO BE RIGHT ON FLIGHT. A DAY BEFORE THE FLIGHT WAS MY GRAND DAUGHTER’S BIRTH DAY AND I LOOKED AFTER THE ARRANGEMENT WITH THE HELP OF MY DAUGHTER AND SON.MY KID DONNED LIKE THE PRINCESS THAT DAY, BUT HIGHLY DISTRESSED.

IT WAS CLOSE TO MIDNIGHT WHEN THE FESTIVITY CAME TO AN END.

I WAS TIRED AS I WAS UNWELL WITH SUGAR AND HYPERTENSION. I RETIRED TO BED LONG BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE. I WAS ABOUT FALLING SLEEP WHILE I FELT THE KID ON MY BED.

“DAD, YOU SLEPT?” SHE DEMANDED. “NAH, C’MON, WHATZ IT?” I ASKED

“SHOULD I LEAVE YOU AND GRAND MOM, DAD?” “ONCE FOR ALL?”” I DON WANNA LEAVE YOU ALL AND BE SOMEWHERE.”SHE HALF SLEPT SAYING THIS IN HER EXHAUSTION.

NEXT DAY IN THE CALL TAXI TO AIRPORT SHE SNATCHED OUT OF HER MOM AND MADE HER WAY TO ME IN FRONT SEAT, SILENTLY SOBBING,SPEAKING NOTHING,EYES WET, SHE DID NOT DARE SEE INTO MY EYES AND GRADUALLY SLEPT SERENELY.

THE FLIGHT TOOK OFF ON TIME; I DID NOT SEE HER OFF.BUT I WALKED DOWN TEN KM WAY BACK TO THE HOTEL, ALL ALONE IN MOUNTING GRIEF.

SOON AFTER MY GRAND DAUGHTER WAS GONE I REALLY BECAME LOVESICK.I USED TO STAY BEHIND ISOLATED. JUST SITTING LIKE AN UNHINGED URCHIN WHERE THIS KID WAS PLAYING WITH ME KICKING, SNATCHING AND DOING ALL LOOTIES.

VERY OFTEN I WOULD RUN TO THE HOSPITAL QUARTERS AND SIT DOWN LIKE A MAD MAN WITHOUT FOOD FOR HOURS BENEATH THE TAMARIND TREE WHERE I USED TO SING TO MAKE HER SLEEP.

THERE WAS A BIG WELL WHERE I USED TO CLIMB AND JUMP SAYING 123 TO FETCH HER LAUGH WHEN SHE WAS ADAMANT AND HER MOM WAS IN HOSPITAL WARD.I USED TO SIT THERE EVEN AFTER SUNDOWN.

NOW AFTER SIXTEEN YEARS!

SHE IS BACK HOME HERE TO MY ECSTASY!!!

SHE IS IN A DENTAL COLLEGE.

SHE LOVES HER GALAXY NOTE.

SHE LOVES HER ONLINE CHATS.

SHE HAS CREATED A NEW MICROCOSM OF HER OWN.

EATS LESS, TALKS TO NONE.

SHE THREW DOWN MY LENOVO PAD BREAKING IT TO PIECES.THE LENOVO GONE, I LOST ALL OUTSIDE COMMUNICATIONS.

LENOVO WAS MY CONNECTING LIFELINE TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD AT THIS AGE OF 75. MOREOVER IT WAS MY MATCHLESS GIFT FROM MY DAUGHTER.

IS THE REASON FOR HER CONFLICT: THE OBSESSION WITH SMART PHONE?

WITH ALL YOUR FONDNESS PART TWO

MY SON IN LAW, A PULMONOLOGIST IN GULF, NOW, WANTED MY GRAND DAUGHTER TO BE TAKEN BACK THERE AS THE KID WAS GETTING INTO FOUR YEARS OF HER AGE. MY DAUGHTER CAME HOME ALL ALONE FROM GULF TO GRAB HER FROM MY POSESSION.

IT WAS MID 2000 AND I WAS ABOUT TO RETIRE IN A COUPLE OF MONTHS.SHE SPOKE THIS AND THAT AND WON OVER ME THAT THE KID WOULD BEST BELONG TO WHERE HER PARENTS WERE. I WAS ABOUT TO CRY! SMASH MY HEAD AGAINST THE HOSPITAL MORTURY.  I COULD NOT PUT UP WITH THE THINKING OF HER SEVERANCE FROM ME. BY NOW SHE, I THOUGHT, WAS A PART OF ME.

BY NOW I THOUGHT THE KID BELONGED RIGHT HERE. RETIRING FROM A ROLE OF AUDITOR AND TAKING THE FULL CHARGE OF THIS KID WAS VERY MUCH A HEAVEN SEND ONE, I WAS CONVINCED.BY NOW I WAS TOTALLY CONVERSANT WITH HER LIKES AND DISLIKES, TASTES AND DISTASTES.

MY WIFE WAS A SCHOOL ASSISTANT AND TO HER TEACHING COMES FIRST AND FOREMOST. A RESPONSIBILITY CONSCIOUS TEACHER GRAND MOM SHE WAS, HAVING MORE TO TEACH THAN TO BE BY THE SIDE OF THE KID.

IT WAS HERE I GOT STUCK FAST IN A ROLE OF NANNY AND LOVED PLAYING THAT ROLE. A FRIEND. A PLAY MATE. A LIVING DOLL!!!AN OLD CLOWN!!!!

COME EVENING SHE WOULD BE READY FOR THE SCOOTER RIDE, AND SHE WOULD STOP RIGHT AT A FLORIST, HAVE HER FAVOURITE AND THEN OTHER THINGS. THIS KID WAS A VERY POOR EATER. I HAD TO TAKE HER TO SHOW HER BLARING LOCOMOTIVES, THEME PARKS AND SUCH THINGS TO FEED ONE BANANA FRUITE.

MY KID WAS LESS FRIENDLY TO HER GRAND MOM, AND FAVOURED MY FEEDING HER. SHE HAD TO BE TOLD DOZENS OF UNENDING STORIES BEFORE SHE FINISHED HER FEEDING.SHE TREASURED GIFTS AND SHE COLLECTED ALL HER GIFT ITEMS HIDDEN IN A DRESSING TABLE.

MY WIFE WAS A BIT STRICT AND WOULD LIKE THE KID TO SLEEP WITH HER. BUT SOON AFTER SHE SLEPT THIS KID WOULD SNEAK INTO MY BED.

MY GRAND DAUGHTER WAS BY NOW VERY MUCH AFFECTIONATE WITH ME.SHE WAS UNABLE TO BEAR MY ABSENCE EVEN FOR A SMALL WHILE.

WITH ALL YOUR FONDNESS

PRECEDING THREE NIGHTS NO GOOD SLEEP, MOSTLY, I WAS TIED TO THE COMPUTER. I HAVE NOT BEEN USING THIS SYSTEM AS I WAS VERY MUCH AFTER LENOVO THING.

THIS LENOVO HAS BEEN CLEVER AND WITH AN ANDROID, AND I WAS ABOUT DOING EVERYTHING VERY EFFORTLESS.

THIS WAS AN ENORMOUS GIFT TO ME BY MY DAUGHTER BETA SHEMA.

SHEMA A DOCTOR AND I AM REALLY PROUD OF HER.

TO TELL YOU THE FACT ONE MINUTE OF MY LIFE DOES NOT PASS WITHOUT HER THOUGHTS.

SHE IS MY ALTER EGO.MY SOUL MY HEART BODY AND SPIRIT.

I AM LOTS GRATEFUL TO HER AFTER ALLAH KAREEM.

SHE IS VERY THOUGHTFUL, CARING AND DEVOTEDLY INTERESTED IN MY LIFE, HEALTH ETC.

THATZ OK.

BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LENOVO THING MY DAUGHTERS GIFT?

IT WAS THROWN AND IT WAS BROKEN TO PIECES LIKE MY BROKEN HEART.IT ALL HAPPENS, SOMETIMES,

YOU PUT ALL YOUR FONDNESS IN A CHILD AS AN INFANT. YOU TOOK ALL YOUR EXCELLENT TIME TO LOOK AFTER IT, AS IT WAS SIX MONTHS OLD, A TODDLER.

YOU LOOKED AFTER IT LIKE AN UNPAID NANNY!!! YOU INVESTED ALL YOUR WARMTH LOVE AND YOU DREAM TO SEE HER GROW GREATER THAN YOUR DAUGHTER.

YOU HAD A NICE SPECS BOUGHT AFTER SOME HARD MONTHS SAVINGS .YOU THOUGHT YOU LOOKED NICE IN IT.

THIS YOUR KID AS A SIX MONTH OLD CLIMBED YOUR HEAD, PULLED YOUR HAIR TOGETHER WITH THE SPECKS AND SHE HAD IT BROKEN TO PIECES.

I IN POINT OF FACT FELT MORE WRAPPED UP IN HER LOVE AND CARED SO MUCH FOR HER MORE.

I HAD SPENT MY PRECIOUS TIME OTHER THAN MY OFFICE, WITH HER, PLAYING LIKE A CHILD DOING GRIMACES AND MAKING SILLY AND UGLY FACES AND SOUNDS TO MAKE HER SMILE OR LAUGH. YES! TO SEE HER ONCE HAPPY.

I WAS REALLY VERY HAPPY IN HER COMPANY AND I THOUGHT I WOULD PASS MY RETIRED LIFE IN LOOKING AFTER HER, SEEING AFTER HER STUDIES.

WHAT WE PLAN SELDOM DOES IT GET MATERIALIZED.

MY GRAND DAUGHTER WAS THIS, ALSO DEVELOPED A RAPPORT WITH ME AND MY BEING. SHE WAS VERY MUCH AGITATED IF I WAS LATE HOME.

HOW DO YOU REALLY SPEND YOUR FREE TIME?

How do you really spend your free time?

I have heard all men and pretty women spending their free time enthrallingly. I, in fact do not precisely know how you do it in your free space of time.

 You will laugh, maybe, to know that when I feel free, it makes me horribly and ludicrously hungry. I dun no why? Whenever and wherever I am free, I feel like stuffing my big tummy with rather more of foodstuff. My surgeon says I am already twice heavy to my body mass ratio. He further scares me to death saying that I must fast one-way or another and cut short my weight to half of what I am now. He further says it is frustration eating. However, I wonder what is there in name; hunger is hunger, what if it is frustration hunger or Philadelphia hunger. I only feel the pinch. I wanna have my belly crammed with loads of junkies when, I sense drastically so. I only shell out from my ass, you are happy, not you.

When I have free time myself, and that too when no one else is home, particularly, my nagging sweetie Mabel, I call it a heaven-sent day. I am so much pompously independent to try my own experimental cuisines in “her ketshen,” my out of bound and prohibited area. I can enter the kitchen myself, ahoy! Well then, I can ransack first her fridge without anybody’s terror. Did I tell you that I am very much fond of sweets like Nestle kinda desserts, Strawberry ice creams, and Dark night chocolates? I grab all of the left over stuff and joyously humming some Shakira- sweet -tunes, hop stop and jump to the study, sit sprawled on the cushion and start chatting seductively to my sweet Agnes, my old time girl friend a few houses past  to our last rented villa. All the time munching the snacks frantically.

Do you like almonds? How about the walnuts, pistachio, cashew, and raisins? Don’t you like them? Oh! I just love them all. See my mouth watering. I just feast on them like a hungry wolf... They are like Sandra bullock, Julia Roberts and Anita Egbert and Marilyn Monroe to me on my hot bed. I collect them all from the kitchen storeroom put them all, mix them with milkmaid and sugar and enough ice cream. Now you have my calorie fu***** “fallooda” ready to guzzle.

Do not bother if you do not get your poor hands at any of them; the kitchen should have country jaggery, groundnuts, and coconuts. Enough! Mash the coconut as you like add country jaggery and groundnuts then pour enough of milkmaid. The “payasam” is now ready. These are the things, I am sure, your wife will not prepare for you. Now get your hands boldly at her Blue Ribbons Gin Full, grab them all boy! It is you private party. You are both host and guest. Cheers. Enjoy! You are free. No bl**** any of ya s** a bi***! Boy

.

When I feel free, I really try to snatch out myself away from the bonds of imprisoning “blocked spaces”. I feel I must break the bonds of manmade space consciousness and free myself away from the four walled blocks. My soul, psyche, or atman is imprisoned in my body. My body is imprisoned in masking clothes. I am again closed in the four walls of my house, my working facility, and the entertainment lot. These are all closed four-walled spaces. Our home, our community, our society, and our village and states are all have this four walled space perception. We differ in nations, continents religions, and race; all are four-walled brands.

 We somehow or other fought back and struggled to unfetter ourselves from this painful slavery of the four walls. The man-made space consciousness. We all tried a lot to open up. We took to karma then to yoga and then to meditation to free ourselves from this attachment. We built prayer houses the temples, churches and the mosques. Then we tried our hands on poetry, scientific research, art, music, and many an obsessions to feel free and unshackle from this slavery of four-walled conception. We also tried then to intoxication, inebriation, and addiction through drugs to liberate ourselves from this bond. We could not succeed.

 Prison is prison even if it is Royal!

 Back home! Now I enter into her reception hall. Remember you are free! INDEPENDENCE DAY AFTER AN ETERNITY!

Tune on the fu***high voltage home theater, get the ultra mod electronic rock, supersonic sound system zoom the whole neighborhood. You are free! Ok? Now enjoy. Throw ya bloody ass out there! Dance your life out to the music in sweet mood of freedom, fully nude. Yes! Complete nude. Dancing nude, inebriated to the melodiousness transforms you to a psychedelic charisma. I call it mystic strip through. I feel as if I soar high up in the vastness and immense galactic limitless space without end. I feel one with the entirety. . Melodious sound seems dissolving in melodious silence. Blissful sound of silence seem enveloping the vastness and immensity. No more hungry and thirsty I swim and swim endlessly ever conscious of the unconscious endless whole.

 “AHAM KARMA ASMI!” “AHAM KARTHA ASMI!”

ANAL HAQ! AHAM BRHMA ASMI!

SATYAM EKAM VIPRAHA BAHUDHA VEDANTHIH!

REDUCING THE INTAKE OF FOOD !

QILLAT E TA'AAM.  REDUCING THE INTAKE OF FOOD.

Qillat-e-Ta’aam (Reducing food) !

Allah Ta'ala states: "Eat and drink, but do not waste. Verily, Allah does not love those who transgress the limits." Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said: "Tasbeeh and Taqdees which are sufficient for those of the heaven will suffice for them (people) too." (Mishkaat)

This Hadith means that like Tasbeeh (reciting the Glories of Allah) and Taqdees (reciting the Holiness of Allah) are sufficient for the Malaa’ikah (Angels) in the heavens so will it suffice as nourishment for Muslims. It is narrated that certain saints remained without food for long periods in solitude engaged in Tasbeeh and Taqdees.

It is clear from this Hadith that at times Zikr and Tasbeeh are sufficient as nourishment. However, it is not possible to adhere to the methods of food reduction practiced in former times. The people of those days were endowed with great physical strength and despite the great reduction in food they suffered no ill effect and maintained their full concentration in their Ibaadat activities.

Their physical strength could be gauged from the type of spiritual exercises (Ashghaal) which they practiced. Some of their Ashghaal were of such a severe nature that if anyone attempts to practice them today he will find his back breaking.

Such an example is Salaat-e-Ma'koos which consists of one suspending oneself upside down and in this inverted manner carry out some Shaghl (singular of Ashghaal)

. In reality Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam did not prescribe Taqleel-e-Ta'aam, but altered the routine times of eating and in this way made the intervals between eating times longer. This change of habit (in eating times) and the longer intervals (between eating times) which are difficult upon the nafs, have been considered by the Shariat to be representative of Taqleel-e-Ta’aam.

Among the various forms of Mujaahidah, fasting is the best. Hence, the Shariat has given Taqleel-e-Ta’aam the form of fasting. In the Shariat, reduction of food will therefore be fasting. The other forms of Taqleel-e-Ta’aam adopted by the people of Mujaahidah have no original basis in the Shariat. Eating less and remaining hungry are not forms of Mujaahidah of the Shariat.

The significance (Fadheelat) of hunger mentioned in the Hadith does not refer to voluntary (i.e. self-imposed) hunger, but refers to involuntary hunger - hunger which comes one's way uninvited. The Hadith consoles such persons of poverty by explaining the virtues of hunger so that they do not worry and suffer unduly. Patience in the face of such divinely imposed hunger, occasions thawaab and elevation of spiritual ranks.

This significance of hunger is similar to the significance of sickness explained in the Hadith. The Hadith mentions thawaab for even sickness, but this does not mean that one has to voluntarily induce sickness. The method of Qillat-e-Ta’aam mentioned in the book, "Tableegh-e- Deen" by lmaam Ghazaali Rahmatullah Alayh, has been forbidden because reduction in food is not the intended purpose of the Shariat, also because the physique of people of today is unlike that of the people of earlier times.

Qillat-e-Ta’aam is not an end in itself, but is a means of acquiring an in- tended aim. This intended aim and purpose is to weaken the animal urge in man, and the aim in weakening this urge is to prevent the nafs from sin. Therefore, if the nafs could be controlled and restrained from sin without reducing food then Taqleel-e-Ta'aam is not necessary. Further- more, cheerfulness and joy in Ibaadat are experienced if the body is in the state of health and strength.

Experience shows that nowadays the health in most cases suffers as a result of Taqleel-e-Ta’aam. But, at the same time one must abstain from excessive eating and adhere to moderation. The capacity of people differs, hence moderation will differ for different persons. The guide line in this matter is to eat when hungry and to stop eating when you feel that you can yet eat a few more morsels. In other words, one is allowed to eat to one's stomach fill, but not to satisfy one’s desire.

COIRTESY: ISLAM.ORG.

THINGS YOU NEED TO TEACH YOUR CHILDREN

 Things You Need to Teach Your Child(ren)

Here is a list of things you need to teach your Child(ren) at early age:

1: It is always advisable you go through any new Material like cartoons you just bought for them before they start seeing it themselves.

2: Avoid Getting Dressed in front of your child once he/she is 2 years old. Learn to excuse them or yourself.

3. Never allow any adult refer to your child as 'my wife' or 'my husband'

4. Whenever your child goes out to play with friends make sure you look for a way to find out what kind of play they do, because young people now sexually abuse themselves.

5. Never force your child to visit any adult he or she is not comfortable with and also be observant if your child becomes too fond of a particular adult.

6. Once a very lively child suddenly becomes withdrawn you may need to patiently ask lots of questions from your child.

7. Carefully educate your grown ups about the right values of sex . If you don't, the society will teach them the wrong values.

8: Once your child complains about a particular person, don't keep quiet about it. Take up the case and show them you can defend them. 

9. Ensure you activate parental controls on your cable networks and advice your friends especially those your child(ren) visit(s) often.

10. Teach your 3 year olds how to wash their private parts properly and warn them never to allow anyone touch those areas and that includes you (remember, charity begins from home and with you).

11: Blacklist some materials/associates you think could threaten the sanity of your child (this includes music, movies and even friends and families).

12. Let your child(ren) understand the value of standing out of the

crowd.

13: Warn your Girl Child Never to sit on anyone's laps no matter the situation including uncles.

Remember, we are either parents or parents-to-be.

Have a Nice day and Great Week Ahead

And possible forward to all friends who have children's

__._,_.___

RESTRICTING THE MEETING WITH THE PEOPLE

QILLAT E IKHTILATH MA'AL ANAAM! ! !

Qillat-e-Ikhtilaat Ma’al Anaam (Reducing association with people)

Unnecessary association with people should not be augmented. Remember that besides Allah, there are three kinds of association. Praiseworthy association. The Shariat commands this type of association, for in itself it is an association with Allah Ta'aalaa. Ending such association is not permissible. Detestable association.

The Shariat prohibits such association. Ending such association is Waajib (compulsory). Permissible association. This association is neither lbaadat nor sin. It is not necessary to end such association. Although permissible, there is a need to reduce such association.

The instruction to discontinue association refers to detestable and permissible association and not to praiseworthy association. However, in so far as detestable association is concerned, the discontinuance must be total, i.e. such association is to be compulsorily ended, and in regard to permissible association the meaning is reduction or limiting such association.

As long as the relationship with the Creator is not well-established and grounded, association with the creation is extremely harmful. The ostensible reason advanced for association with people, viz., fulfillment of their obligations, can be truly fulfilled only it the relationship with the Creator has been firmly grounded, If the relationship with Allah has not been firmly established then neither is the duty to creation fulfilled nor the duty to the Creator

. This fact has been proven by the experience of thousands of Auliyaa, Solitude is permissible, in fact best and advisable (Afdhal) for one who has no worldly or Deeni duty pertaining to himself or others to discharge. Such solitude is of greater merit during times of strife and mischief when it becomes difficult to have patience (sabr) in the face of anxiety, agitation, confusion and anarchy.

The Ahaadith have extolled solitude during such circumstances. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said in this regard: "… a man who takes to solitude on the peak of a mountain. He has goats, he fulfills their right and makes the Ibaadat of Allah." In another Hadith it appears: "Soon a time will dawn when the best wealth of a Muslim will be goats. He will go with them to a peak of a mountain and to places where rain-water accumulates. He will flee from mischief taking along his Deen."

Bukhaari Solitude (i.e. total dissociation from people) is not permissible for one who has some duties and obligations to discharge, whether such duties pertain to others or oneself, and whether it be obligations, e.g. providing maintenance to one's family when one does not have the ability of Tawakkul (trust in Allah), or Deeni obligations, e-g- the acquisition of necessary Deeni knowledge.

Certain Ahaadith which prohibit solitude refer to these two states just mentioned. Such an example of prohibition is the case of Hadhrat Uthmaan Ibne Maz'un Radhiyallahu Anhu. He was forbidden from adopting solitude since he was yet in need of acquiring knowledge of the Deen. At the same time Muslims also were in need of him regarding matters of the Deen, especially in the fields of spreading the Word of Allah and developing Islam

. The above explanation pertains to solitude which is adopted permanently. However, temporary solitude (Khalwat) of a few days is necessary for the Mubtadee (beginner in Tasawwuf) in the majority of cases.